more than mom of the week

Why I am More Than Caleb’s Mom

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Let me be clear: I LOVE being Caleb’s mom. He is the sunshine of my life. My heart. He is one of my biggest accomplishments. I love him being a part of my life. However, as I continue to grow in motherhood I’m starting to see a trend in how I and other moms were being identified.

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Have you been a part of this scenario before? (Insert your child’s name for full effect below.)

You are picking your child up from school, daycare, practice and someone says:

“Hi, Caleb’s mom.”
“That’s Caleb’s mom.”
“Caleb’s mom will do it.
“Caleb’s mom, those are nice shoes.” (THANKS!)

I realized that I didn’t know some of the parents’ names either. I was just as guilty of saying “Oh, Mary’s mom is bringing her to the party.” It happens so quickly. You no longer have a name. You are defined and identified by your child.

Thinking back, it starts before your children are even born. You get married and the first thing to go is your last name. A name you had all of life goes poof and you have to learn to write a new name. (I still don’t write mine well.) As you get older, some people may have no clue what you were before you were married with children.

Growing up, I had no clue what my mom’s interests were. Her interest was our interests (me, my brother and sister). She watched what we watched. She ate what we ate. She did the activities that we did. She traveled where we traveled. It wasn’t until we all left the house that I realized what she liked to do. And guess what: it was none of the things she did with us.

I can see how it happens. As a mom, you feel obligated to be consumed with the needs and wants of your children. You eat, sleep and breathe your kids. It makes total sense. However, I need it all. I want to have it all. I want to take care of my family and still feed my needs and wants. I want to do the things that will make them happy as well as have some fun for myself.

So that is why I am More Than Caleb’s mom. I am a woman who:

  • Likes reality TV (Don’t judge me)
  • Will buy a handbag and shoes in a heartbeat (My weight might go up and down but I can always fit a bag and some shoes)
  • Loves a consignment shop (Because of my bag and shoe problem)
  • Loves music and singing very loudly
  • Loves throwing parties and getting together with friends
  • Always wants a stamp on her passport (Do they still do that?)
  • Loves a fancy meal and a dive
  • Eats cupcakes and loves to read a book at the same time
  • Has a Pinterest obsession
  • Can’t dance but likes to
  • Buys makeup to make her happy
  • Changes her hair every day (not by choice)

I want to share my ideas and experiences with you to help moms be more than their child’s mother. I know you are already great at that. Taking care of yourself helps you be better for your family. Taking time to stay connected with friends and do some things you love is a great way hold on to the things that make you special and unique. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Trust me. Your family will thank you for it! They want you at your very best. Your very best is being able to do more, live more and be more!

Signed,

More than Caleb’s Mom

    • Dawn M.
    • February 4, 2016
    Reply

    Hey Lawanda!

    I loved your blog! Though I’m not a mother yet, I am gaining a son thru my fiance, and I completely get wanting to have it all! Continue enjoying the journey!!!!

    • Pelzetta
    • January 3, 2016
    Reply

    Wanda,
    I really enjoyed reading this blog. We as moms wear many hats, but we are defined by our individual strengths and talents.

    • Sandra
    • January 3, 2016
    Reply

    My kid raising days may be over, but everything you’ve commented on Lawanda is so true- once a classmate of one my boys saw me on the street and said, “hi Mrs.Taylor’s Mom.” Needless to say, I had a wry grin as I just shook my head.

    • Tyrita C.
    • January 3, 2016
    Reply

    You hit the nail right on the head!! My son is 8 now & I have made it mandatory that I take an adult vacation (no cell, email, social media) once a year. It reminds me of all the things I like to do & who I am besides “AJ’s Mom”! Thanks for the blog. I will be folling you!

  1. Reply

    Love it. You’re such a great writer. Never knew you couldn’t dance. Lol

    • Bonnie
    • January 3, 2016
    Reply

    So on point…awesome!!!

  2. Reply

    Very nice.

    • LRenee'
    • January 3, 2016
    Reply

    My sentiments exactly! I’m more than Dylan and Allie’s mom. I’m more than Russ’ wife. I had a very interesting life B.C! Lol I applaud your efforts with this great new venture. Kudos to you my friend!

  3. Reply

    Never knew you had kids… congratulations!

    • Cynthia
    • January 2, 2016
    Reply

    Inspirational! Love it!

    • Faye Thompson
    • January 2, 2016
    Reply

    Awesome! I am so proud of you!

  4. Reply

    Cool. Really enjoyed reading this!

    • Latasha
    • January 2, 2016
    Reply

    Loved this!

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